Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9
Why are seagulls called seagulls? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
If you pull the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH
Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours!
Q: What do you call a man who lives in an envelope? A: Bill.
2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other I think I lost my electron. The other one says are you sure?; to which the first replies yes I'm Positive
If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the opposite of PROGRESS?