Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
Never criticize someone until you walk a mile in their shoes; that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes. (John Handey)
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic. (John Handey)
Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. Dark Helmet, Space Balls
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~George Ade
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. ~Nicholas Chamfort
Without geography, you're nowhere. ~Author Unknown
I plan on living forever. So far, so good. ~Author Unknown
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~Author Unknown